Blog...what blog....I don't have a blog....

Well its summer and that means only one thing...my child annoying the living crap out of me. Does that make me a terrible mother that I am counting down the days until school starts. I think it is because we are so much alike and we butt heads. Oh, I guess I should say it is Griffin not Megan...I mean it could be Meg but as I haven't really seen her since school let out....she has it easy right now.

My summer hasn't consisted of much yet. I haven't even been to the club pool. I don't think it is hot enough. But I will start next week since Griffin will be in swimming lessons. I look forward to swimming lessons because I can sit and gossip with my buds. Damn that reminds me I need to sign him up. Thank you for being a mental post-it blog :)

Life hasn't been great here lately. I am back on my meds...taking them semi-religiously on a regular basis. My fingers have not stopped swelling and they look like tiny sausages. Like sausage links that you would eat with your pancakes. I don't know what to do. I hate being 34 almost 35 and having to take so much medication. That is probably the hardest part in all this. On a happier note my braces are off and I have a beautiful smile. I am so happy all the time....well most of the time. I guess it was worth all the pain I endured with the jaw surgery...which hello I wouldn't recommend that to the sperm donor!! So I guess it hasn't been all that bad. Wow that is a bit sybil there. Life not good but not half bad....freak I am.

It is good that my sister is here now. I don't see her as much as I thought...or even talk to her. We used to talk everyday when she was in Chicago...now 3 times a week maybe. Like today is Tuesday and I haven't seen or talked to her since Saturday. I wish Kaelie and Griffin would get along better. They just butt heads all the time. He loves her though and always wants her to come over and then she does and BAM fights. I don't know if that is just a boy being a boy or what.

Well this is a rambling blog...but a blog none the less. I will try to post here as much as possible. It kinda made me feel better letting my fingers do the talking...ha ha ha.

I am less weird then Kim...ha ha ha

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Random thoughts.....

Motherhood is a bitch. There I said it. We all go through life wanting our kids to be happy...or at least I do, not sure about my mom. I can't stand to sit and watch Meg go through all this boy drama. I mean really doesn't she have enough on her plate. I really want her to forget about boys for awhile, focus on school and just really enjoy her high school years. They go by in a flash. Then is college and the real world. There is such a huge world past Ada High for her. Somedays I want her to move on from Keifer...then I see her eyes and think, wow there is something there. Someone asked me if I thought it was me wanting the relationship so bad...and I don't think so. There is love, granted teen love, but love the same. I just hope she continues to make the right decisions in life as she has so far. Do not compromise your position in life and your thoughts and dreams for anyone. Your values are what is important and I know that she is walking on the right path right now. I hate to sound cheesy...but I hope she dances. All I want is for her to feel life. Live her life for her.

There that said. Things are finally moving right along now that Griffin is back in school. I am finally making head way on my back log of follow-up at the office. I just hope the money comes in fast. My not working consecutively really put a damper on the finances. Coming up with money to pay the expenses is getting tough and really stressing me out. Chris is trying to not let things bother him, but I know that my stress is getting him stress. I know not everyone understand what it feels like to be the one person that holds control of the money. But really that is me. If I don't do my job....no money and when I say no money...I mean none, zip, nada. Kim, I know you get this. Been pretty stressed lately and hope I haven't let it show.

I am really glad I went to bible study and really hoping that spiritually I get the "catholic chip" off my shoulder. In the words of the Jackson 5 "One bad apple should not spoil the whole bunch"...at least I think that is a Jackson 5 song. Either way, it is good to even just have the fellowship. I still may not be a religious zealot, but it is doing me some good to sit down and meditate and have some deeper thoughts than "did I run the dishwasher".

I also want to give a big hug to all my great friends. The past month has been an adjustment for me and thank you. I know that I can count on each of you in November.

I am glad that my niece and Griffin are finally working through their differences. I know she is a great kid and I am so lucky to get to have her back in my life. I really felt I was missing out on a lot. Oh yeah, you too Aim...ha ha.

All in all life is good...if I just keep swimming.

All the days of my life!!

Hello everyone out there in blog land...haven't posted in awhile so I thought I would drop a quick line to let everyone know what is going on in my crazy life. Or as Ricky Martin says la vida loca.

School started and Meg is now officially a high schooler. She is doing well this year. She seems to be very focused on her school work and actually has brought homework home like everyday so far. Keep your fingers crossed there. My only complaint is that she hasn't been calling me and letting me know where and with who she is going for lunch. I think it would take 2 seconds to call or even text me and give me a heads up. She did get in trouble for going out to lunch with someone I didn't know. I just don't want my baby girl going somewhere with someone I have never set my eyes on!!

As for the love saga of Keifer and Megan...it is alas over again. He has moved on with someone else and really it is Megs fault. I told her several times that this stalker boy would break them up and she said they were just friends...and they were until stalker boy leaned in and kissed her at the movies...which Meg didn't want him to do. Well stalker boy called Keifer and told him that they kissed and Keifer, understandably got pissed and moved on. We miss him. I know that they will be back together. Meg is not moving on and just kinda having fun going on dates with different guys. She tells me that she misses him and that he stares at her all the time during the 2 classes they have together. So who knows. I just want her to be happy. And she was happy with him. I don't see the same light in her eyes anymore. I know that sounds weird but she just is missing that shine that she had when she was with him.

Enough of that soap opera...on to bigger things...Griffin. My GOD that boy has been giving me a run for my money. Everytime I turn around he is either spitting on something, or hitting someone, or running in the kitchen and sitting on his bum so I don't spank him. I have started giving him one warning and then time out. Now don't get me wrong if he is uber bad the boy gets a swat...but I have been putting him in time out with a timer and it seems to be working. I can't wait for school to start next week! He has grown alot in these 2 months of summer. I can't wait to see what he learns in school and how that is going to change him again. I did just realize that his birthday is in like 2 weeks. Not sure what we are going to do for it. We have had huge parties for him in the past and I really don't know if I want to do that again. May just have cake or something.

Now onto me. I am having jaw surgery on November 14th. I am scared. I know that I will be incapacitated for at least 2 weeks. Who is going to do my job!!??!! I am worried about the kiddos. I am scared.

Well that out there....Griffin wants to play on the puter now so I better get off and get him all set up. Hope all is well!!

Just a thought.....

What kind of country do we live in where Reggie Bush, a football player in his first year in the NFL can be paid $ 60 million for 10 years of playing a sport....let alone he is playing for New Orleans, a city that could really use the money? I wonder this. How do the owners of sports teams sleep at night? Do they think that the money could help other people?

Okay I will play!!

Okay so everyone is making lists of things that is going on in their life lately...so I guess I will play.

1. Griffin really is such a different kid than Megan ever was. I am starting to feel like maybe I worked too much and missed out on all of this terrible 2 and looks like 3s. I just don't remember her taking a red marker to the walls and when asked why saying "tecause".

2. Megan is a beautiful girl who will be starting high school.....ARRRRGGGHHH!! My baby is starting high school. Okay so technically she already is a sophmore and already was in high school last year....but jeesh I mean she could like leave campus for lunch. I am saying this is freaking me out.

3. Again Megan is beautiful and starting high school....which means junior and senior boys checking her out and possibly dating her. I don't really see her and Keifer breaking up...although according to her they aren't going out right now (then why did I pay for his dinner on Tuesday and movie ticket??) but I know she truly loves him and I really think he loves her too. They have this old soul relationship that they care about each other so much...really sweet thing to see.

4. Work and Chris. Chris is feeling a bit stressed lately at work. Jimmy totally might have you a job...how do you feel about lenses??? He is just stressed because right now is his busiest time, his dad seems to be gone all the time and he has to still do the lab work with all the patients. Sometimes that means not getting home until 6 or 7 at night. It is tough because I see that he is stressed and I can't do anything about it.

5. As much as my sis and Jim are worried about moving here I am too. I mean it is because I am here they are moving here and making this life change. They never would have done this and taken this step, at least not in Ada, OK, if it wasn't for me. That is a lot of pressure on these shoulders.

6. My birthday is coming up!! WaHoo...not a stress but a comment...presents please!!

7. I am excited for my neice to be here. Aim...no worries about after school care when you get a job...I really could get her or she can ride the bus to her Aunties house. You won't believe how nice it is to have people WANT to watch your kids. Really an eye opener!!

8. I am really liking my new group of friends. Its not that I don't love Amy & Mari...its just they are so different than I am. I don't think I have changed...but maybe I have. I can't wait for you guys to meet everyone!!

9. My lab work came out good...which is great....but why do I feel so poorly? Maybe the anti-depressants will help.

10. Crap just realized that swim lessons start in 20 minutes and I am no where near ready!!

Okay well that is my list...pray for Chris this weekend...he is taking a race car driving school with his white porsche and is super psyched about it!! I am worried sick!!! I mean if something happened to him and he couldn't work...welfare here we come!!! I love you guys and I will try to make the time fly by that way you don't miss Greg that much...I will not however come over and snore just so you can sleep!!

hee hee hee hee...she said beaver!!!

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