Sleepless nights

Last night was hell. Griffin woke up about 1:00 a.m. not being able to catch his breath. Not sure if it was his asthma or his croup that he always gets but it was bad. Luckily we still had some albuteral and predisone from his last battle. We got that down his throat and finally he started to breathe--still gasping but breathing. He fell asleep on our bed and woke up to do it all again around 3:00 a.m. This time we sat in the steam shower with him and it seemed to work for a little while. He did finally go to sleep and slept until 7:45 a.m. when a patient called with something in his eye!! Needless to say Chris & I were very tired. He does seem to be doing better tonight.

Chris' grandfather is doing great. I went and saw him on Friday and he knew who I was and Griffin loved playing with pa pa's wheelchair (vroom vroom). Grandma moved into assisted living and has so far spent 2 nights there. Chris' mother, of course, left town leaving us and others to drive grandma to see grandpa. I just don't think after the week I have had I wouldv'e left my parents in the state they were in. I mean a week ago we didn't think Grandpa would be here!! I guess I am not a selfish person. That was ugly to say and I am sorry. I love her but sometimes.....ARRRGGG

Our employee supposedly is being weaned off the vent. So hopefully she will pull through. Chris interviewed someone this week and I really don't know if we should hire her or not. I know it would make his job easier, but when our employee does come back we can't handle 3 full time employees. I mean we probably could but some job duties would be switched and feelings hurt....and a bunch of crap I really don't have the energy to deal with.

Now onto Megan. I just don't know what I am going to do with that girl!! She drives me bunkers. I know she is smart and can do work but chose not to for the first 3 weeks of school. I haven't seen that she has brought the grade up very much and I am worried. I don't want her to miss out on a family vacation in Disney, but she may. It honestly doesn't seem like she cares all that much if she does miss it. We go Tuesday to the open house to meet the teacher who probably doesn't think all that highly of us. I mean what kind of parents are we to allow this to happen. My answer is trustworthy ones. We trusted Meg when she said she was doing everything she should be doing. Big mistake. Now there is always doubt. Chris takes it to the extreme and doubts everything the child does. I don't think that is right, but we have been burned before so maybe he is doing the right thing. I just want both of my kids to do the right thing. I want more for them than I ever had. I don't want Meg to miss out on college and be pregnant right out of high school. I want her to live her life. I never had the opportunity to be a college girl and party and stuff. Not that I want her to party but I do want her to have fun. Teenagers have to be put on this earth to remind you on how awful you were as one.

Well I will close for now. Hope all is well where ever you are.

And now for my next trick....

So our world has been upside down the month of September. First Marc...one of our very best friends....loses him Grandpa. Then our other staff member is put in the hospital first for a surgery that was planned and then again a week later for a surgery that wasn't planned. Now I have been told by her daughter that she is now on life support and a feeding tube. So needless to say I have already been a bit stressed what with working, figuring out what do to with Griffin and Meg back and forth to cheer and dance. Then Sunday came....

I was in my usual good spirits cleaning the house...or as Chris would call me the "clean nazi"....getting ready for Griffin's big 2nd birthday party. We had invited about 40 people which is a bunch for our little house. Everything was going smooth and on schedule. Chris BBQing what seemed like a thousand little hamburgers and hot dogs, me trying to speak to everyone which is an impossible task, then my mom comes over to me and says "Grandpa doesn't look well" Grandpa is Chris' grandfather who will be 94 in November. Chris idolizes this man and Griffin is named Griffin Kenneth after him. So I get Pat and tell her to come and look at him. After she says "He's fine he is just tired from the walk" (that is a whole nother issue!) I decide to look for myself. Jeri and Kim watched the expression in my face go to fear and Jeri went and got her hubby to check on him. He checks for a pulse and says that we need to call 911 immediately. This decision happens while I am driving Grandma & Grandpa's car up to my front door....and anyone who has been to my house knows that means on the front lawn. Amy & Mari quickly usher the 10 to 12 kids outside so they don't see what is going on. Kim's hubby checks him some more and Grandpa is looking progressively worse. The EMS seems like they take forever but finally arrive. They lift him up and put him on the stretcher and that is where I lost it. Here is a man that is so strong and full of life being lifted lifeless on a stretcher. Chris decides he is going to the hospital and everyone tells me I should go too. I said I would stay and finish out the party. I knew I would not be well or help anyone being upset at the hospital. So I get everyone in the house to eat and the party went on--mind you with me drinking vodka and lemonade!

We went to check on him at the hospital after everyone left. He didn't look great but cracked a couple jokes. He looked and me and Chris and said "Boy she must feed you good." Which is pretty freakin funny at the time. So we came on home and thought maybe things will be okay. The ER doc said no sign of a stroke, just blood pressure. Boy how one night changes everything. This morning (Monday) we woke up being told that he did have a stroke and has now lost the ability to swallow. I go to the hospital and see him in the morning and he is talking too his mother...who mind you has been dead for probably 70 years. This evening I go and he doesn't know who Chris & I are and is telling us that he thinks its good that Pat and Floyd are dating and that Floyd is coming and working at Oklahoma Optical....that was in 1957. It just isn't looking good. They are talking about a feeding tube and stuff and he is trying to get up and out of there so they had to restrain him. I just don't know how to feel right now. On the one hand he is almost 95 years old, been married for over 71 years, has visited 26 countries in his life, grew up so poor and overcame that, his father died before he was born...he has done way more than he ever imagined he would do. I know he has had a good life but....

So if that wasn't enough, Marc calls today and asks how Grandpa was doing....I explained and he says "Well while you are praying for Grandpa say a prayer for Mari's mother" and immediately starts to cry. I say why and he tells me that she is having an emergency biopsy because they think she has cancer!! I guess she has had a lump somewhere in her abdomen for only like 3 to 4 years and has never mentioned anything to anyone. She told Mari at lunch that she went to the doctor today and he is doing a biopsy since she may have cancer and that she will call Mari when she needs a ride home from the hospital!! I immediately went to their house to try and talk to Mari and calm her down. Mari idolizes her mother. She was a single parent and worked several jobs to put Mari through school and give her all she ever wanted. How do you deal with that? As pissed off as I get at my mom, cancer is something I don't ever want to go through with any family member.

And if that isn't enough...while talking with Fionnuala tonight and explaining about Grandpa...because they didn't know...I ask her about her mother. Her mom just found out a couple months ago that her renal cancer has come out of remission and is back. But she had been doing great....I guess until now. Here this woman lives in Belfast, Ireland and Fio can't get to her. She is very pregnant and was planning on going out there in a week or two (her absolute last time to travel) and was told that her folks had planned a trip to France or something. So there will be no opportunity for her to see her. Her sister's are mad that she isn't there, but she can't leave right now with her fellowship. Can you imagine having your mother that far away suffering and you not being able to comfort her or your dad. Fionnuala is very close with her family and it kills me to think that something may happen to her mother and she won't be able to make the journey.

On that note....I will close and go to bed now. I am so glad that it is September 12th....the month is almost over!! I can imagine now that a hurricaine will hit Orlando while we are there...that is just our luck. Thanks to all of you for your thoughts and prayers. We do have the greatest friends and family!

We are almost there!!

I am sooooo excited about Griffin going back to GSPS next week. Although I love my little guy...I do notice my work slacking which means money slacking....which means not a happy hubby. I have worked some this week (actually here now) and now see how much has been stuck aside since I have only been able to work here and there.

Griffin's birthday is coming up and I can't believe the boy is almost 2. Seems like just yesturday he was an infant. Time sure does fly.

I have been watching alot of news lately with the Hurricaine and can't believe the devestation. It makes us realize how fortunate we are. I mean 4 million people homeless....bam...just like that. I have never been to New Orleans or really anywhere on the Gulf Coast so I can't mentally picture what used to be. There is going to be alot of crazies killing people for a bottle of water...but I gotta tell you if I was in the same situation who knows what you would do. You know being a mother and seeing your kids hungery and thristy will probably make you do crazy things. I wouldn't be to proud to loot if I needed diapers, water, formula or the like for my kids. So I can understand that...but really looting nikes?

I have been having internet problems at home so haven't been able to do as much on here as I would like. They are supposed to come tomorrow between 8 a.m. and 5p.m....really can't they pinpoint a time. Kim--my aunt said they are still working out the bugs on those DVRs that I was telling you about. As soon as she tells me I will let you know. Call me sometime...would love to have lunch while the kiddo's are in school.

I will have to do another blog about our Chicago trip....too much info and really I am supposed to be doing statements. Just thought I would drop a short note.